his is the first part of the documentary My Penis And Everyone Else’s. All television invites ridicule. Barging your way into someone’s living room and occupying their time is quite an audacious act. You’re totally at their mercy – they can turn you over, turn you off or tape you and replay your crap parts over and over.
For these reasons My Penis And I is either the most courageous film ever made or a self-indulgent piece of nonsense. Film-maker Lawrence Barraclough made the film about his tiny penis and the effect it has had on his life. Which takes balls. I guess.
Whether this betrays a remarkable faith in his fellow man or a need to be the centre of attention is unclear. Either way, he’s dealt with being self-conscious about his wiener by telling 4 million people about it. No wonder he’s confused.
He’s been in a relationship for nine years but his girlfriend takes some persuading to appear in the film. Lawrence wonders what it is about penis size that so obsesses men. “So, I’m going to Birmingham to talk with my dad about his penis”. There’s a sentence I hope I never have to say again.