Sex Sense: Love Chemicals

Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure (I loved that meal) to intense interpersonal attraction (I love my husband).

This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.

Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Sexual Chemistry

The drug Viagra revolutionized the treatment of sexual dysfunction in men on its launch five years ago.

An accidental discovery, the tablet that gave impotent men the chance once more to have natural erections became the fastest selling pill in history and has earned its manufacturer, Pfizer, over $6bn.

The search is now on for a similar drug that could help women. Research is revealing that female sexuality is more complex than expected.

For women suffering from a loss of desire many scientists believe that drugs acting on the brain may be the way forward.

A pioneering Scottish study may have identified just such a drug and begun testing it scientifically.

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Whats Sexy? measures the intricate inner workings of lovers in love, as well as lovers that stray, and dares to suggest that we are a lot less in control of love than we may think. You’ll see what can transform the ecstasy of love into a cocaine-like addiction and you’ll learn what draws men to women and whether a “family guy” or a “hunky action hero” is more of a natural match.

If you ever wondered what it is that makes men go ga-ga over female curves, or why women swoon over a masculine face, National Geographic has come up with the series to examine the science of love. That doyen of documentary-makers has upped the ante to give the low-down on love, tracking what it is that make men and women attracted to each other.

Sniff out a potential mate? Look out for signs of the perfect one? You will be surprised to find out your physical senses are very much involved in tracking down your significant other. This may help to explain why some people “click” from the first moment of attraction, and what helps them to decide to bond with that special man or woman to settle down and raise a family.

Suddenly, the phrase “love at first sight” takes on a whole new meaning. In the series, the game of attraction is examined with a scientific eye. Researchers with impressive-sounding resumes who have made it their life’s purpose to study the game of love produce results from brain scans and sniff tests to tell you the difference between lust and love.

And you can be certain that all the information you have just heard is no hocus-pocus. After all, the good people at National Geographic guarantee that the facts which are presented are verified by their fact-checkers, before it goes on air. The series is worth watching for its invaluable nuggets on what makes us tick when love, or lust, calls.

Naked Science - What's Sexy?

The Human Sexes

Will boys always be boys and girls always be girls? Will we ever really understand each other? You may be shocked by your conclusions.

Prepare yourself for an intimate, erotic examination of physical differences between the sexes, from body fat to brain power.

See Turkish men demonstrate their suitability as mates by wrestling in olive oil. Celebrate Mardi Gras in New Orleans, where women bare their breasts to entice men to reward them with strings of beads.

1. Different But Equal. Observe women who flaunt their femininity as exotic dancers, and female body builders who develop their muscles to the point of masculinity. Examine brain scans that show that men and women even think differently about the same problems. Different But Equal explores whether the amazing differences between men and women are based on biology or history.

2. The Language Of The Sexes. How does boy meet girl? Is finding a mate ever easy? How do you send out a signal that you’re available? There are as many ways to speak the Language Of The Sexes as there are cultures. The Japanese build shrines to the male phallus. many Muslim women live behind veils. Ethiopian tribeswomen enlarge their lips with ceramic plates, and some Chinese used to crush women’s feet to keep them tiny and delicate. Compare all this to America, where women practice gender amplification with silicone breast implants, collagen lip injections and tight high heels. It’s easy to see why the Language Of The Sexes is so hard to understand.

3. Patterns Of Love. How far would you go for love? Get ready to be amazed as you see people go further than you ever thought possible. Patterns Of Love will take you to a brothel in Nevada, love hotels for married adults in Japan and a bachelor auction in Alaska. You’ll meet pop star Mongo Faya of Cameroon… and his 58 wives. Visit Istanbul’s Topkapi Palace where the Sultans keep harems of hundreds of wives. Fly to Moscow with a group of American men hoping to bring home just one wife. And check out technology’s answer to a troubled marriage: an automatic divorce machine that accepts all major credit cards. Patterns Of Love may change your definition of love.

4. Passages Of Life. Morris catalogues the ways human cultures mark, honor, and celebrate the biological transition from childhood to puberty, and how such rituals distinguish men from women. Highlights include a theory that circumcision originated in ancient Egypt as part of a snake religion strategy for achieving immortality.

5. The Maternal Dilemma. In today’s world’ is it tougher to be a mother… or a father? Will it ever be possible to balance work and motherhood? No matter what you currently believe, The Maternal Dilemma will surprise you with new insight. See working mothers in Japan and England who leave their children in day-care centers. Discover the ‘granny solution’ in Greece. Explore the ‘paternal solution’ with stay-at-home fathers in America. Have dinner with a man from Utah who has several wives: some have children while others pursue careers. Compare women who work in fields with babies at their side, to Western women trying to balance kids with a career. It’ll soon become clear that The Maternal Dilemma is something everybody shares.

6. The Gender Wars. Do you know what side of the Battle Of The Sexes you’re on? You might be stunned by this eye-opening look at the recent struggle for equality between the sexes. Originally, there was a primitive balance between the sexes, but when people left the village for the city, the natural balance disappeared. Find out the origins of honeymoons and other tools of male dominance like wedding rings and female circumcision. Travel to Finland for the annual wife-carrying contest celebrating the capture of women from other villages. follow the rise of feminism, from turn-of-the-century suffragettes to the National Organization for Women. Visit the front lines of the gender wars with female stock traders and female firefighters who parachute into blazing California forests. Pay attention: what you learn here may just help you survive The Gender Wars.

Making Sex Sacred

 I’m a guy and as such, I need to keep things simple.  The only thing sacred is love. Everything else is commentary.  That is pretty simple.  We associate words and behaviors with love.  So, sacred sex is like going to church, at least two orders of magnitude better. 

Our bodies are temples. With all the shame out there to which we have been exposed, it is a lot easier to think of a woman’s body as a temple than our own.  No worries. By treating her body as a temple, you will see that yours is a temple too.  There are magnificent cathedrals and temples all over the world, gilded and clad with fine art.  Entering there is an awesome experience.  It does not compare to the awe of entering your beloved.  When inside a cathedral, we are limited by walls. Inside our beloved, the Universe is open to us.

We stand outside the temple, admiring it.  It is inside the temple where we are itimately blessed with love.  So what is inside?  Do you see and feel her love?  This love must be treated with reverence and respect as you treat her body with reverence and respect.Her yoni is the altar where we worship the love between us, yet her whole body is the temple; not one square inch to be neglected with our worship.  In Tantra, it is said those who worship at the altar of love have all their dreams materialize.  It is true.

In visiting a cathedral, we are tourists.  In worship there is ritual, and don’t let the word worry you.  It is simply preparation to worship and a means of worship.  It may be considered as the behaviors of  love intensified. What we call foreplay is only a part of the ritual.  In this ritual, here you and your beloved are open to what ever resonates with you.  It may consist in nothing more than quartering an apple or peeling an orange to feed (nourish) each other before heading to the bedroom.  It may be in preparing the bed with sheets and towels to absorb her orgasmic emissions.  It may be simply brushing her hair.  There are many more.

In Tantra there are mantras to recite before and during sexual congress.  These are a bunch of words I cannot pronounce and don’t know what they mean.  For us, a good mantra would revolve around the word “love.”  I love you.  I give you my love. I receive your love.  I want your love.”  This type of thing.  The importance is not only in the words but also in the sound.  There are technical reasons for this just as important as the technical positions we use in making love. 

Although it is pleasurable in itself to spend time on these rituals, in many cases, a lot of time may not be necessary.  Everyday behaviors of love are cumulative.  Quickies can be sacred too,as long as we hold an attitude of love. Mix it up.  Variety is the spice of life, and we will never exhaust all the possibilities with one beloved woman.

When regarding her orgasm, it is HER orgasmic experience she is sharing with you.  It is a gift to you.  It is a gift she trusts you to appreciate.  Asking for her orgasmic experience, this gift, may also be a part of your mantra.  This may be because she feels safe in your love and devotion.  The same holds true with her other sexual responses such as ejaculation, or orgasmic emissions.  Her body and that which comes forth from it is a gift.

Imagine yourself water-less in the desert. You are not yet delusional with dehydration, but close and your thirst seems unquenchable. As you stop to wipe your dried brow,a great ball of light appears before you. From this ball of light steps a winged angel in diaphanous robes, radiant with a beauty before unknown to you. In her hands is a container of life-giving water. But, not just any container:this is the Holy Grail, the sacred chalice of life. The water is holy, sacred water that nourishes your soul as it quenches your thirst. Falling to your knees in both physical weakness and gratitude, you reach out for it, so willing to accept this precious gift offered. As your parched lips touch the rim of the chalice, you are overwhelmed with gratitude and a peaceful ecstasy. As the sacred water trickles down your throat, you feel it nourishing you soul as it nourishes your body. You are empowered to continue your journey in life and most guys don’t even say, “Thank you,” before they roll over and go to sleep. Not all angels have wings. Expressing our gratitude is also important.

To many of us think sacred implies somber and sacred sex isn’t any fun.  Have you ever seen a Black Gospel choir?  Are they having fun?  Hell yeah! They are having fun in their temple.   Life is to be enjoyed, and there is great joy in bonding, loving and expressing love erotically with you rbeloved.  It can be beyond your wildest dreams.

Pornography : A Secret History of Civilisation

After taking in the fast-paced anthropology lesson of this engaging six-part series produced for British television in 1999, it would seem that for most of civilization, pornography hasn't been such a secret after all.

The six lively episodes take playful account of that which is on more people's minds than will easily admit, and which has been an important, if often vilified part of world culture since humans could think about such things. This documentary is a stylish and tidy chronological account of erotic imagery that the episodes categorize from earliest recorded history to the latest (as of the end of the 20th century) prospects afforded by the Internet and virtual technology.

An array of interview subjects from scholars to porn stars talk about everything from the graphic images discovered amongst the ruins of Pompeii and the one-of-a-kind erotica traded among high-class Europeans, to what it's like for individuals to make and distribute their own adult encounters through the facility of their own bedroom camcorders.

Before it was demonized and censored when the printing press brought porn to the masses, it seems erotic drawings were a lot of jolly good fun that was not at all stigmatized. (One of the most amusing sequences is an interview with a prestigious, septuagenarian and erotic art historian who is interviewed about his specialty while reclining nude under the gaze of a woman sketching his portrait.)

Once the church became involved, deeming the depictions of man, woman, and beast doing what came naturally as obscene--a relatively modern classification - it moved into the shadows of sociological study. The episodes on photography, including still and moving pictures and the impact modern technology had in creating a porn industry are interesting, but not entirely enlightening for most people who have even a passing knowledge of the development of erotica from French postcards to adult home video.

Pornography ~ The Secret History Of Civilization (full)

Sexy Inc.: Our Children Under Influence

Documentary analyzes the hypersexualization of our environment and its noxious effects on young people. Psychologists, teachers and school nurses criticize the unhealthy culture surrounding our children, where marketing and advertising are targeting younger and younger audiences and bombarding them with sexual and sexist images. Sexy Inc. suggests various ways of countering hypersexualization and the eroticization of childhood and invites us to rally against this worrying phenomenon.

Sexy Inc. Our Children Under Influence

Growing Up in a Pornified Culture (Gail Dines)

Shortbus

John Cameron Mitchell, who created a cult sensation as writer and director of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, blazes a brave new trail with this comedy-drama which combines the stories of a handful of emotionally unsatisfied New Yorkers with some of the most explicit sexual material to ever appear in a mainstream motion picture. Sofia (Sook-Yin Lee) is a couples' therapist who has a major relationship problem of her own -- she's never had an orgasm, and her husband Rob (Raphael Barker) doesn't seem capable of giving her one. Sophia's clients include James and Jamie (Paul Dawson and PJ DeBoy), a gay couple who have been together for five years and are beginning to grow tired of one another. As James and Jamie discuss the possibility of bringing another man into the bedroom, Sophia accidentally mentions her problem, and they tell her of an upcoming "Shortbus Party," a sexual free-for-all in which straight, gay, and lesbian couples are all welcome to either talk about sex or take a more active role in the main ballroom. As James and Jamie hook up with Ceth (Jay Brannan) for some mutually satisfying action at the bash, Sophia experiments with Sapphic diversions, and begins to truly find herself when she encounters Severin (Lindsay Beamish), a professional dominatrix. However, while Sophia begins to find what she needs with Severin, she discovers that while Severin is able to casually enter into a sexual relationship, she's never been able to emotionally commit herself to someone else. Shortbus was screened in competition at the 2006 Toronto Film Festival.

Shortbus trailer

Justin Bond and the Hungry Marching Band - In the end

The Dry Orgasm

WHAT IS A DRY ORGASM?

Most male orgasms include both orgasm (a feeling of sexual release and pleasure) and ejaculation (the forceful discharge of semen from the penis). This is not always true however.

A dry orgasm is one that does not include ejaculation. Yes, this is possible!
With a DO you experience the feelings of orgasm, but do not ejaculate and thus do not lose your erection, allowing you to last longer at sex.

To understand how DOs and MMO work, you first need to be familiar with these terms:

• DO (dry orgasm): is when a male is able to experience the feelings of orgasm, but does not ejaculate and thus not losing his erection, allowing to last longer in bed.
• MMO (male multiple orgasm): is the ability to achieve more than one orgasm from a single erection.
• PC/BC muscles: Pelvic floor muscles important for controlling ejaculation. For more information see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pelvic_floor
• Kegel: A contraction of the PC/BC muscles.
• Reverse kegel: a forceful relaxation of the PC/BC muscles accomplished by contracting other abdominal muscles.
• Point of No Return (PONR): The point in sexual stimulation where ejaculation becomes inevitable.
• Edging edging is masturbating and stopping right before you ejaculate. Once your urge to ejaculate has subsided, you repeat the process as many times as you’d like.
• EQ: Erection quality; generally judged by oneself based on a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the poorest erection quality and 10 being a completely hard penis and raging erection.
• Partial Ejaculation: An ejaculation that is partly suppressed by a hard kegel contraction with the result that only a portion of the normal amount of ejaculate (semen) is actually expelled.
• Retrograde Ejaculation: An ejaculation event in which the ejaculate ends up in the bladder

BEGINNING DRY ORGASMS

Now you are ready to try to separate orgasm and ejaculation. Try this: while edging, focus on what you feel as you approach the point of no return, or the PONR. As you get closer, stop stroking and immediately kegel very hard and hold it.

As you feel yourself moving away from the PONR, relax the kegel exercises and resume stroking. Repeat the process, each time getting a bit closer to the PONR. Keep doing this. Eventually, one of the following will occur

a) You will get reach the PONR and orgasm and ejaculate. This is not a problem. Enjoy the experience and try again later.

b) You will balance on the edge of the PONR, you may or may not orgasm, and you will likely experience a Partial Ejaculation (some semen will come out, but not your usual amount). You will then feel your erection begin to subside. Try to bring your erection back and see if you can make yourself cum. If you cannot, don’t worry, you will be able to do this later.

c) You will ejaculate into your bladder. This is known as Retrograde Ejaculation. It is not harmful but because you actually ejaculated, you will probably lose your erection immediately as with a normal ejaculation.

d) You will experience an orgasm without ejaculating. This is the fabled Dry Orgasm or DO! You may or may not experience ejaculation contractions. The first few times you DO, the orgasm experience may be much less intense than that of a regular wet orgasm (with ejaculation). With practice your dry orgasm ability will increase in intensity until they are like those you experience with wet orgasms.

The timing can be a bit tricky so don’t get discouraged if it takes you make many attempts before you achieve a DO. Also keep in mind that significant PC/BC muscle strength is required.

Focus on what you feel as you approach PONR, and practice using kegel and reverse kegel exercises to get closer to the PONR and back off from it. Knowing where you are in the process is key. The more you learn about your body and the more you practice, the easier this will become.

At first your dry orgasm ability will likely be inconsistent and may also routinely be followed by a loss of EQ. You will not entirely lose your erection, but you will lose some penis size hardness at first as you get used to the process.

Keep in mind that a DO will be a very new experience for your body and that years of training have taught your body that sex ends with orgasm and that orgasm means ejaculation.

You need to retrain your body to recognize orgasm and ejaculation as distinct events and to treat them as such. With practice, you will be able to achieve DO more regularly and also maintain your erection after and through the dry orgasm.

Once you can achieve a DO, practice resuming stimulation sooner and sooner afterward.
This may be a bit uncomfortable at first. Motivation may also be a problem, as the afterglow from your orgasm may make maintaining an erection seem like a low priority.

However, if you want to become capable of MMOs, you will want to work to regain a complete erection as soon as possible, or to not lose EQ at all. Don’t worry if you cannot dry orgasm a second time or maintain your second erection for long. Those will come with practice.

TRANSITION TO MULTIPLE MALE ORGASMS

Moving from DOs to becoming MMO requires both practice and motivation. Most men find that it is much easier to achieve these solo – without a partner – because it is easier to control stimulation levels. It can be much harder to stop ejaculation when engaged in active sex with a partner.

Once you can DO solo and maintain an erection, try reaching a second orgasm. Attempt another DO if you wish, or just have a regular wet orgasm. Once you can do this, you are experiencing a full on MMO (multiple male orgasm) session!

As your control and skills improve, you may find that you are able to string several DOs together and have as many Multiple Male Orgasms as you wish, all without losing your erection. This is hard to achieve but is possible with extended practice…. and it can be a great deal of fun!